Different people have different perspective about what love is to them.. some may say that, oh its that strong feeling/connection and bond they have for their partner, or simply its just all about these 3 words, I love you and you love me.. There's just so much going through my mind, and I really just don't know how to put them into words.. but one thing I know for sure, once I start bursting into tears and screaming my lungs out, they'll all flow out like musical notes.. kae maybe not musical notes... but yea you get my point.. I have many dreams on my mind, not forgotten after I've thought of new ones, but these dreams just accumulate in my mind, that someday I could be able to do everything that I want to do with my beloved Dear... I once said before, there's no point in forcing someone into doing something which they don't like, because from that, you really can't feel that willingness in them and that happiness and excitement coming from them.. but somehow, I really wished that he could ignore that certain thing which he din like to do, but for the sake of my happiness and that togetherness in our relationship, he is willing to sacrifice for me.. I may sound very demanding, but that's just how I feel,that giving in is not all about a 1 person show here, as love = a pair = both willing to give in when the time is right and needed...
You may ask perhaps, what about what he wants? I know that I had gave in a lot in our relationship in the past, I was willing to ignore my feelings of disappointment that I couldn't always get what I wanted, but I was willing to give up and let it pass me by.. thinking that the future has yet better things to come.. I know he has also done a lot for me, for I will always remember every single things he had done for me.. I just returned ytdy evening, was really very excited and happy to finally get to spend time with my dear, after not being able to see him for 4months.. I really had miss him a lot. Things didn't feel the same for the passed few days, probably coz I was busy and tired, and he was too, and so conversations wasn't quite as much as before.. He's been busy working hard earning money, and yes I do know that money isn't hard to earn at all.. but if I were to ask, is the money worth spending it with the ones you love, tho it was a really crappy dinner perhaps or a movie, was it worth wasting it on the time spend with you and your loved ones? To me quite worth it to a certain extend, not saying the whole thing cost over hundreds and hundreds of dollars..
Trying to erase the enviousness I had for some people, where their relationship just seemed so smooth, both parents were able to accept them couples, seeing the time they had spending together with family members during gatherings.. really is just something I had wished for.. but I know when the time is right, our parents will finally let us go and walk our own path with the person we loved.. and I'm still waiting for that special day.. still holding unto my relationship strong, till I could finally experience that day... K Really have no intention on pressuring my Dear with fulfilling all my wishes, what I just want from him, is to love me with all his heart, to try to make me happy as I will always try to do the same, hopefully willing to give in more to me, and tho having to go on a crappy trip with me, is happy to go for the sake of spending time with me.. I really love you dear, yea we can take things slowly, but once there's an opportunity to do something together, hopefully it shall not be wasted, for I do had many experience of feeling regretful, of not doing something together with the person I love the most..
*Will post up my 21st birthday pics soon after I have organized them..*
I love you Dear,
no words could express how much I really love you,
Hope you really know how I feel.
Please take my sadness and loneliness away,
for there are no one else that could, other than you.
Signing off<3